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Denial, Anger and Depression

22 Apr

Log 49
Sunday, April 15, 2012
9:16 PM

She’s superficial. I already knew that to be true months ago. That was, perhaps, the reason why I chose to just suppress my emotions without letting her know about it. Yet, my resolve was shaken because of a stupid and twisted love story that rarely ever comes true. Now, I have unwittingly subjected myself to a painful heart break.

Rejection has always been something I’ve endured. It’s something I’ve learned to get used to. For her to tell me that we’re just friends would have been something easy for me to accept. For her to tell me that I’m not her type would have been expected. But for her to even consider losing me as a friend over an admission of something true and pure, that was just heart breaking for me.

I realized how shallow this friendship is. After everything we’ve been through, it would have been easy for her to just distance herself from me. I don’t want to sound bitter but I’ve cried for her. I’ve had my heart broken every time someone broke hers. I’ve sacrificed my time, my sleep, my energy just to be there whenever she needs me. Yet, I was nothing more than an expendable friend whom she could just lose without second thoughts, just because I fell for her.

That’s sad. That’s just sad.

Sure, she has her good points. But how would these good points weigh compared to this simple fact?

Well, I’ve always prayed for her to be happy, to find someone who will give all that she needs. I’ve always prayed for God to give her the answered prayer she’s been waiting for. I never prayed for it to be me, because I knew it could never be me. But I guess my prayer has been wrong all this time.

I just pray that her answered prayer, whoever he should be, exists in this lifetime.

 

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Posted by on April 22, 2012 in Uncategorized

 

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